I'm currently reading through II Kings and am reminded again of just how confused I used to be about the mention of high places. I remember, even before I could read hearing about the kings of Israel and Judah and wondering what was the big deal with high places.

         For those of you who are not immediately familiar, let me explain. When the kingdoms of Judah and Israel split after the death of Solomon,  rise and fall of the kings of each of the kingdoms in Kings and Chronicles is bookend with the ultimate judgement: good or bad, evil or righteous. One did what was right in the sight of the Lord and one did what was evil in the sight of the Lord. 

        There were zero righteous kings in Israel and only eight in Judah. What was interesting, though, even with the ones that did what was right, was that sometimes there was an extra tag line, "Only the high places were not taken away..."

         By the time I was about seven or eight I understood that the high places were sacred spaces for the worship of false gods. The concept only became clear to me as I grew older, that mountain tops and high hills were where people would go to feel closer to whatever deity they worshiped. God was the one who thought of it first, of course. He chose the high places for Himself; Sinai, Horeb, Moriah, Gerezim and Ebal, Zion... even the Psalmist says, "I lift mine eyes unto the hills, from whence shall my help come? My help cometh even from the Lord who made heaven and earth."

        How much more blasphemous it is to take those places which God has set aside for Himself, and use them for idol worship? That was the big deal with the high places. 

         Personally, I love high places. Hiking is one of my favourite active hobbies, and the view from the top of a mountain is one of the most beautiful sights in the entire world. There's nothing better, in my opinion. Yet sin has a way of twisting the most beautiful things. Why should we be surprised that high places proved to be a stumbling block for the children of men?

         When I'm on top of a physical mountain, my first instinct is to glorify God and give thanks for the gift of all that beauty and wonder. However, I recently realised I had my own high places I needed to tear down, some hold outs in my heart where God was not honoured and homage was being paid to idols. I was being like Jotham or Joash who tore down the asherah, and cast out the Baals, but left the high places. They mostly had their act together...they were listed among the eight good kings, but there was a black mark on their memorials, they clung to a few of the little idols, even though they got rid of the big ones.

         It's a great view from the top of a mountain. It makes you feel pretty good. It often feels up there as though the weight of difficulty that life has laid upon me stayed down at the bottom, while I got to climb up and leave it behind. The pending deadlines, the misunderstandings, the mistakes that had lasting repercussions, the unresolved conflicts, the people who called me names because they were upset not because of anything I'd done, the frustrating mishaps, the crushing failures, the monotonous grind of repetitive tasks, the frustrarious madness of humanity, all of it feels far, distant, unimportant. Up there with the wind and the view and the stillness, it's easy to feel close to God. It's easy to feel like everything is good and right, and it's easy to begin to use the good feeling as an escape rather than a refreshment.

          I'm pretty good at looking good on the outside. all my friends and many of my relatives think I have it all together. They don't know the half of it. 

          Some of you may not be aware that in February of this year I took up a different line of work. It was rather unexpected, and certainly not what I had planned, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed because I began to be confronted on a daily basis with the full weight of my years of worshiping on high places. It was the cumulative effect of all the little idols I had stored up and cherished in my heart at least half a dozen years if not more. 

          I would justify myself in clinging to them, they weren't Baals or Asherim, not inherently wrong, just high places, beautiful places of serenity and refreshment...but I was sacrificing on them...serving my own gods, trying to serve Yaweh in my own place, not the place He had commanded.

         Now, selling life insurance, of all things, I could no longer justify my idols. God marched me back in front of them and tore down the screens I had carefully woven over the years to hide what they truly are. "They are false gods; idols." He said, "You must get rid of them. Thou shalt have no other gods before me." 

         Friends, for a time I would not. All this summer I clung to them, even as God, the determined parent of a rebellious child, pried my stubborn fingers off of them one by one, I refused to let go. They were my safe places, my escape from real life, my comfort when all went awry either in the world of insurance, or life, or both at once. 

        And so all summer long I felt like the subject of the poem "The Hound of Heaven." (Which, if you have not read it, is an absolute masterpiece I would highly recommend). I clung to my idols seeking comfort and escape, only to be confronted by God at every turn, "Lo, naught contents thee who content'st not me." He said, over and over, and over again. It was only in the past week and a half or so that I began to actually cast them out, voluntarily, and while life has not changed over night, it has brought a huge wave of peace and relief.

         Reader, I understand you may now have two very glaring questions on the tip of your tongue.

1. What were my idols?

2. How did selling life insurance force me to give them up? 

          I refuse to answer the first one here. If you ask me in person, perhaps I shall tell you, but I think spending two paragraphs trying to explain what they were and how they were idols to me would only serve to distract from the point I am attempting to make and not serve any constructive means. Suffice it to say, they were stumbling blocks to me and I have known now for years what action I ought to take with regard to them and have not...which is, as James spells out, no more and no less than sin.

         Regarding the second, the answer is simple. Self - Discipline. In many ways, being a life insurance agent is like starting my own business. Granted, there was no capital needed aside from paying for my licensing, which was a given, and there is someone over me who makes the rules, but in this business where the pay runs on commission, and I get out directly what I put into it, I am compelled to be the very best version of myself at all times, and the better I am and the more disciplined I am, the better my business runs. My idols began to wound me. They wounded me before, but I did not see the consequences reflected so clearly in the results of my life. 

         What wonders a bit of hard work will do for a person. Especially one as indolent and self-centered as myself.

         And so, over the past two weeks I have been slowly but surely tearing down my high places. It has been most painful and difficult and my prayers have often devolved to desperate pleas to God to help me through the next moment, the next hour, just that much.

          And He is helping me. Even with these things that brought me to tears because I could not seem to have any mastery over them. 

        No, mastery is not yet achieved, and it will be a lifelong endeavor, but I have set myself to watch out for cherished high places and demolish them ruthlessly so that there is no place in my heart where God is not exalted above all else. 

        So, as funny as this may sound coming from me. Here's to the sanctifying work of life insurance and all its facets. 

         Join me on the journey, if you will, and do pray for me when I come to mind, that God will continue to teach me submission to Him and His word, and that I may bring Him glory in my work, in my leisure, and all that He sets my heart and hands to do. 

            Excelsior!

                   ~ Christianna