I tend not to speculate on this too much for two reasons. First, I'll likely never have a million dollars, second, because thinking about the what-if is rarely useful for living the what-is.

However, today, sitting around the table with some family members, hacking away at some homemade peach ice-cream that was thawed a bit too much last time we pulled it out, I suddenly started thinking about what I should like to do most right now, and that is, to travel.

I had the great blessing to visit Arizona this year and see the grand canyon, but the way that trip decimated my bank account I realized that another trip of that scope to a different place this year would be circumstantially impossible.

I want to travel to Germany, get better acquainted with its language, see the castles, and hills, and streets and cities that have made music and literary history so many centuries past. I want to return to England and visit Wales, I'd like to wander the vast moors of Scotland and meander amongst the old monasteries and verdant hills of the Emerald Isle.

I want to travel to Alaska and see the vast tundra, I want to spend an evening gazing up at the northern lights. I want to see the pointed trees and sloping vineyards of Italy, gaze out across the deep blue of the Mediterranean, hike the sage mountains of Japan, and crunch through the frigid wastes of Siberia. I want to visit Cathedrals, hear great choirs, waltz in Vienna, and pore through old books in ancient libraries. I want to ride a gondola down a Venetian Canal, hike the grand Rocky mountains in Colorado, wade beside the rocky beaches of Maine, and sing among the brilliant fall foliage of New Hampshire once more.

So many wishes, so many places, and so many wonders, and I feel as though, if I were to suddenly become an heiress, I could see them all. If I had a million dollars, sure I'd be wise and invest some of it, I'd set aside a good chunk for gift giving, especially for those in need(what fun) but then I'd take the rest along with two years and a willing friend, and just travel, learn, listen, watch, and grow.

If I had a million dollars, I tell myself, that's what I'd do.

If....but I don't.

This thought progression made me realize two things: first, that I can have unfulfilled desires and still be happy where I am, and secondly, that while not having a million dollars means I miss out on some things, it never means I miss out on the best things.

You see, I've known a few wealthy people in my life, I've seen what their money by itself does for them. Fancy houses, fancy friends, fancy dinners, cars, clothes, and vacations, and while all those things are lovely, they most certainly don't add up to the greatest things.

Sawing away at frozen ice-cream with your family, drinking in the sunset in the delicious cool of a summer evening...

....reading stories that makes my imagination burst, playing "Bird Bingo" with little children who find it the most exciting game in the world, dancing with other young people in a ballgown I bought from a thrift store for six dollars and altered and refurbished myself in half an hour's sewing...

...role-playing in makeshift costumes with friends imitating French and German accents and laughing hilariously while we're at it, feeling the soft breathing of a baby as he sleeps on your breast...

...shedding tears of joy while listening to a beautiful concert put on by a very talented friend, singing in choir, playing in orchestra. The list goes on....this blog post would be insufferable if I were to list all the "best things" life has brought me.

I don't need a million dollars to enjoy or experience any of these. In fact, all the money in the world couldn't buy them.

It's true what they say, money can't buy happiness.

If I had a million dollars, it would be exciting, but I'd be no happier for it. Joy comes from elsewhere, and I have a life that's full to bursting with it.

If I had a million dollars, I think I'd try to keep as many things in my life the same, because I am so greatly blessed, and I wouldn't want the million dollars to ruin things like John Steinbeck's Pearl.

If I had a million dollars, I'd travel and see the world, but all this life of living without that kind of money would hopefully keep me from the fancy hotels, luxury resorts, limousines and five star restaurants...nothing wrong with those things, but I've learned the secrets of moth-eaten blankets, celery and jerky on the run, and bumping shoulders on crowded buses...maybe, if I had a million dollars I'd visit the five star restaurant one day and purchase a sandwich from the local market the next. Which would I prefer?

It would probably depend on the circumstances like everything else in life, but I know one thing for sure:

I wouldn't want owning a million dollars to turn me into someone I'm not, and I wouldn't let it tie me up in a box the world labels happiness. I should know better by now because I've never had a million dollars, and I'm happy.

So I leave the question to you: What would you do, if you had a million dollars?

Think it over while you listen to this lovely piece of music I discovered recently...yet another joy that cannot be bought with a million dollars!

     Until next time then,

       ~ Christianna