If The Lord Wills...Cambridge, England

        Okay, here's the post you've all been waiting for...maybe? I know I've been pretty quiet on the blogger front recently as to what my future aspirations are, but I figured it's time to come out with it and tell you all what I've been brewing lately.

         In less than a week I will be applying to one of the top ten most prestigious Universities in the world, ranked most prestigious outside the U.S. Not only does that make it one of the hardest to get into, but also demands a highly rigorous course of study.

    The School: University of Cambridge, England.

      I know, kind of big. So, with these obstacles, why am I, Christianna Elise Hellwig, an unknown musician in NC who studied at a no name institute in New Jersey, attempting to get into one of the most famed Schools in the land?

      Well firstly, my friends, let's clear something up. Neither the difficulty of study nor a cut-throat admission process is a good reason not to go to a particular school. Why? Because I believe God is in charge of my destiny. Sure I do have to weigh the odds. If I scraped through college with a 2.9 GPA and everyone who heard me sing had to cringe every time I went for a high note, then maybe that would be a good indication that a prestigious school was not a good choice for further education. However, as that is not the case, and I know I do have a reasonable chance from a purely pragmatic stance, I can't let the difficulty of climbing the mountain deter me from attempting it. God is my strength. If He wants me to climb the mountain, He'll equip me with the abilities to do it.

      Now that we've settled that issue, why do I think God wants me to climb this particular mountain? Well, my dear ladies and gentlemen, if I were to explain that to you I should have to write far more than any of you would ever care to read so I shall keep it concise, and you'll just have to take my word for it that, as for any situation, there's always a lot more to any story than what I can possibly tell in a single blog post.

       So, first off, why am I going for a Masters in music?
          Those of you who know me better may recall my saying either that I wasn't going to go higher than a Bachelor's and if I did I would get a degree in Philosophy or apologetics or something along that line. Well, I'll tell you, I tried. I started the application process twice for a MPhil. at the local seminary and never finished it. There wasn't any obvious reason why I didn't. The requirements were simple. I only had to take a couple really simple prerequisites, it would be so convenient studying at a seminary that was fifteen minutes away from home, I already knew I liked the atmosphere, and I knew that unless I couldn't fulfill the prerequisites, I was pretty much guaranteed admission. I had everything going for me, and the thought of a Master's in Philosophy as a title very much tickled my ear. So why did I throw that away?

        It takes a few months sometimes to start asking the right questions, I think. I know it took me way longer than it should have to ask a question I ought to have asked from the very beginning: Lord, is this what you want me to do?
        I asked because I was driven to frustration and was getting torn to pieces by doubt and self-questioning as to what should be my next step. I thought I had it all planned out, so why was I so unhappy and befuddled? Why was I suddenly showing an unforgivable interest in music instead? Desparation drove me to ask that simple little question, and his answer came back, clear as a first grade math problem: No.
       I could just see Him at that moment leaning against the wall, arms folded with a patient smile across his features looking down at me as I, all wise and knowing in my own eyes, attempted to map out my life the way I intended it and just waiting until I messed things up so badly that I consulted Him. And when I did, he gave his answer, just that, nothing more.
       Angry, I threw my hands in the air, that was not what I wanted to hear. "Fine," I pouted, "What do you want me to do?"
      He smiled that indulgent fatherly smile at me once more, "What about music?" He answered me with a question.
      "What about it?"
      "Well, what do you think I gave you that voice for? Do you really think I gave it to you so you could tuck it away when you thought it was good enough and only bring it out when it pleased you for your own enjoyment?"
       "But God," I whined, "I don't want to be a professional singer."
He gave me that smile again, "I never said you should be a professional singer, but because I gave you that voice and you dedicated it to me, shouldn't I get to dictate when and how you use it?"

       This was the turning point for me. And when I heard a chapel sermon on the parable of the talents, that nailed it. It was obvious if I wanted to fulfill my dream of composing, I needed more musical training, and my voice, though good, had plenty of faults and really needed more pushing than could be gained by weekly private lessons with no other incentive to work at it than that I was paying for the lessons. This was the first lesson I learned. My voice belonged to God and so did my musical ability. I thought it would be much grander if He had called me to foreign missions, or maybe called me to use my voice on street corners and in lost places to reach people for Christ, but He didn't. I may never be called to foreign missionary work or the life of a traveling evangelist, but for now I don't know that. He is calling me to higher education, though, I need to develop the talent He has granted. So, that was just a brief  summery...(I know what you're thinking: Brief?!! Christianna, I'm ready to go to bed!!! Bear with me)...all that to say, when I was at this point mentally I gave up my dream of an MPhil and started looking into MMus programs.


        Okay so, now you understand why I decided to attempt an MMus, but why Cambridge? So, at first I was just looking at colleges in the area, thinking I wanted to try to stay right here, but there was nothing in driving distance that looked promising, and several didn't even offer a Masters in Music. Well, I could have looked into some of the bigger music colleges in America, but then I thought, "If I'm going to move somewhere for school, maybe I should start thinking outside the box." About that time I stumbled across a web post titled "Why you should study overseas," which cited several good reasons for that action including the claim that cost was lower and the time spent studying was less. After reading this I did a bit of checking and found out that in the UK prices were indeed far lower, and if I chose to study at Cambridge I could complete a masters in music in a piddling ten months.

          To be honest, these two things were mostly what made up my mind in favor of the University but I had to be sure that I had better reasons for studying overseas than that it was cheaper and faster. After all, the quality of the education is just as important! :) Well, it didn't take too much digging to discover that England offered exactly the kind of study program I wanted. Smaller classes, one on one mentoring, less emphasis on tests and more on practical demonstration of knowledge. It all added up, plus, England has such a rich choral tradition and at Cambridge I would have the privilege of studying under some of the best current leaders in that field. Being that I want to compose especially choral music, this would be the perfect place for me.


         I chose Cambridge over Oxford because it seems to be the case that for music Oxford has a bigger emphasis on performance while Cambridge emphasizes theory and research a little more. And while I do want to develop my voice and make it the best it can be, I also want to develop my understanding of theory and musical history as well. Cambridge, it seems will balance the two a bit better, or so I'm told. In the end it doesn't so much matter, I think, but for now, Cambridge works. Who knows, maybe if Cambridge rejects me I could get accepted to Oxford instead! ;) Kidding...though, it is a valid option.

        Anyway, there you have it, my friends. You have my deepest respect and gratitude if you made it through all that and have at least some coherent understanding of what I'm doing and why. :)

       Alright, I'm going to close this with a beautiful recording of a song I'll be singing soon with the Gettys in Nashville...what does that have to do with Cambridge? Well, it was written by John Rutter, my favorite contemporary composer who is a graduate of Cambridge! Isn't that great? Knowing he went there didn't influence my decision of Cambridge over Oxford at all...well maybe a little bit....but we won't think about that. ;)

      Enjoy this lovely song and I'll keep you updated as I find things out. If I do go, I'll have to get full scholarship, so that's something to be praying for right now. I'm up in Ohio currently with my good friend and accompanist who shares my name to record my audition songs....that's been fun.

Maybe if a lot of you read this post and leave a comment and you can get a few of your friends to subscribe to my blog I'll share the finished recordings with you... :) 

   Okay, no more advertising, I promise...(I still mean what I wrote above, though).
This one is conducted by the man himself. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

       Oh be joyful in the Lord, my dear readers, for He is good!

         ~ Christianna