Why Have You Forsaken Me?

         Have you ever come to that moment in a story, or even in rel life, where the hero; the one you're rooting in to save the day, the strong one you are counting on to end the reign of terror, suddenly falters? In that moment you see his weakness and you begin to loose faith in him. Can he actually save the day? Maybe the villain will win after all.

          I am grateful to be able to say that the first time I experienced this emotion was as a youngster listening to my mother read the crucifixion account. At least, that's the first clear memory I posses of such an occurrence. I remember knowing how the story would end, and yet still hating that moment when Jesus cries out "ELI, ELI, Lama Sabachthani." to my four year old mind, it sounded like he was giving up. It sounded like at that moment even  Jesus had lost faith in God's power. Of course at that stage I didn't really understand half of it, I kept wondering why Jesus was so upset about the whole ordeal. After all, if God was going to raise him up, what did he need to worry about? It was like knowing the story would end alright even when you were in that lowest point where it looks like the hero has just lost.

          Well, academically, it eventually became clear to me as to why this was such a terrible thing for Jesus. But I didn't actually understand it until recently. I was visiting a friend last year and ended up participating in a role playing activity she had going on over that weekend (I was a mad German prisoner, it was so much fun). At one point in the game, I was confronted with somebody I knew outside of the game. Somebody who was really wonderful in person, and in his character, during the story, he ended up being someone awful in the story, and somehow, even though I knew it was all fake, even though I was aware that when the game was over, he would go back to being the wonderful guy I knew, for just one moment, I felt betrayed.
It wasn't precisely pleasant.
Of course the moment passed quickly, the game ended shortly after, and we all returned to our real selves, but that moment of play acting gave me just an inkling of what it must have been for Jesus on that cross to have His Father turn His back on Him.

       Of course, this was far more than a hundred times worse, than my little moment in a LARP game, but still, I'm grateful for the glimpse God gave me then, because it increased my understanding, and hence my gratitude, for what Christ did for us on the cross, that blackest day in the history of mankind.

       I'm not sure any of us will ever fully comprehend in this lifetime the magnitude of what Jesus actually did for us on the cross, but we can trust, I think that it was the low point for our Hero when a perfect, sinless being cries out that He is forsaken.

       And indeed He was, for all our sin was laid on Him. To think, every perverse, wicked deed I commit either in thought, word, or action, are the paving stones that led Jesus to that horrible moment when the sky went black and God turned away from His own son. Our actions have consequences. Ought we not to feel more grateful that those consequences have been taken off our shoulders; at least, the damning ones? Ought we not to live our lives more carefully in light of the knowledge of the sheer agony Jesus went through so that we would not have to die eternally, cut off from all goodness?

        What a wretched soul I am that even knowing only an infinitesimal fraction of what He did for me, would still sin repeatedly against Him.

        Consider the lovingkindess of our Saviour, on this anniversary evening.

                    This beautiful hymn by Thomas Kelly has been one of my favorites for quite a long time. Do you know, that I couldn't find a decent choral recording of it anywhere? Someday, someone will have to rectify that. ;)    Anyhow, I think you'll enjoy this version. 

        My friends, we can surely stake our lives on a God who would do so much for such miserable creatures as we have proved ourselves to be. There is no better foundation.

        ~ Christianna