This morning I boarded a plane and left an entire posse of people who have surrounded me with so much love and kindness that I wonder sometimes if I live in a dream. I loaded the bulk of my clothing onto an airplane along with my Bible, my violin, and the only two electronics I own and flew about 716 miles north to Boston from which point I will board another plane and fly across the Atlantic this evening.
Why am I doing this?
Last weekend I held a concert for students and friends of mine. It was a lovely event and it was wonderful to see so many of my friends and family there. Several people even drove out from Tennessee for the event. I was a little stressed but had so much fun, and realized how much I enjoy hosting concerts and performing.
Why am I leaving all of that behind?
Over the course of the past couple years I've gotten involved first in a Christian LARP group in TN, and then with a swing/line dancing group in my own area. These have been outlets to fulfill some long-standing dreams of mine. These are desires I've had since early childhood when I first developed a love for medieval culture and dance.
Why am I giving that up?
I have made so many wonderful friends in the Raleigh area. These are friendships which have only grown and been renewed as the years progressed. I love all of these people dearly. They have encouraged and inspired me in my walk with the Lord and and brought so much joy into my life.
Why am I going away from them?
If I were to ponder, by themselves, all the things I'm giving up, I would never have embarked on this journey in the first place. When you open a new chapter in your life, it always means closing another. When you enter one room it necessitates leaving another. There is no alternative. I cannot compare what I am going to to what I'm leaving. There is no comparison. However, I do know that God has called me to Aberdeen and thence I will both joyfully, and sorrowfully depart.
All I can do is be grateful for every moment I have had with the people I love doing the things I love over the past years, and also look forward to the juncture ahead. Most importantly, my love for these people must inevitably be strong chords which draw me back across the ocean; back to the ones I love.
If I could sum up my feelings while writing this post in a song, it would be in the words of a beloved hymn. This is one that I have known and sung since my earliest years. I associate it with pretty much all the places I can ever remember being because I have sung it everywhere. This is a hymn I hope to carry to Aberdeen and continue to spread everywhere I go. It is a hymn which guides me home.
1 comments:
Such a fitting hymn! You are right about understanding our finiteness. As a door opens, one must judge whether to walk through it or not. If one does walk though, it necessitates leaving a room. Christ is with you, as is the precious knowledge that you will be welcomed back with open arms!
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