God's Plan: Optimal or Optional?

     What do you do when good just doesn't feel good enough, when the smile feels forced and hypocritical?

      What do you do when remembering all your blessings doesn't make you feel any more grateful?

     What do you do when the wait stretches out farther than you'd expected it; when the time you thought you'd be spending doing something new is spent doing the same things you've been doing for the past two and a half years?

       What do you do when you realize that where you are now is not at all what you'd expected, when you'd wished for it years ago, and where you'd hoped you'd be turns out to not really be where you wanted to be?

       In short, what do you do when you realize that God is taking your life in a whole different direction than you'd expected and you really don't like it?

        I distinctly remember having my whole life planned out by the time I was twelve. I was going to get a degree in music, teach violin, write a lot of music, and make a lot of money. When I was nineteen or twenty I would get married and have a dozen children. I would be the model mother and the most helpful and loving wife. We would live in a big house and host lots of parties, be the shining light in our neighborhood, and I would the most popular woman in my community because of my giving spirit and compassionate nature. Our children would grow up surrounded by the their many cousins for of course part of my life plan included my siblings all getting married, living close by and having a lot of children too(though of course not as many as I would). Maybe in my forties when my children were all grown or nearly so, I would write a book which would become a bestseller, maybe my husband would write one too... ;) And he and I would live out our days in blissful harmony surrounded by our loving children and grandchildren.



        You laugh, I know; I am too, while I'm typing this, with the poignant realization that though a few things such as the degree and violin teaching have come to pass, my life and who I am are not at all what I had imagined them to be. Of course it only took my teen years to help me come to the eyeopening realization that I am neither giving nor compassionate by nature. I'm a tight-fisted, cold, calculating person by nature who plots out every kind act as a means to my own advancement, and compassion is only a tool in my belt to make people like me better, I don't genuinely care about people....at least....that's where I would be without God. As it is, I endeavor to do things for the right reason, I endeavor to spread God's glory where ever I go. However, as a twelve-year old with an inordinately high opinion of myself, I could not possibly comprehend how difficult it would be to be "good" as I put it at the time.

        I also realize poignantly how much our family is not what I pictured it to be. Sure, my sister got married to a great guy last year, and yes, nobody's run off to Timbuktu with no plans of ever returning, but past and more recent events in our family's history, events that have surprised my hair on end and caused me to cry for hours, have made me realize that I'm not calling the shots in this family, nor is anyone else. It's God, only God who is directing our paths, certainly, sometimes He channels them in the directions we want, but, most of the time, at least in my case, He doesn't and recently I've had to come to grips with that.

     What if I never get married?

     Or if I do, what if I can't have many children? After all, it's God who gives the babies.

    What if I never publish a book?

     What if my music never becomes popular?

     So, what do you do when you find out that you're not in control of your life? When you discover that it's been God who's been calling the shots all along and you have no idea where He's going to take you?

     I'm not going to tell you not to plan; people are natural planners, we do it all the time and there's nothing wrong with making good plans for the future. The question is simply, what do we do when life doesn't follow those plans?

        1. View your life as an adventure not an obstacle course.

When you read an adventure novel, the very pith of the writing is the suspense; the understanding that you have no idea where the story is going. And you like that about the book; it's part of what keeps you reading. If you could know exactly what was going to happen beforehand, suddenly the book would lose most of its flavor. Why do you think people get so upset over "story spoilers?" So then, why is it that when it comes to real life, we want it to turn out exactly how we'd planned and every twist is an annoying obstacle over which we must jump to achieve our pre-planned life? I think God has been challenging me to live my life more as adventure. Sure there are challenges to overcome, but in the end, we have no idea where the journey will take us, and we should find excitement in that.

       2. Understand the God is the absolute best person to have control over your life.

Have you ever had those moments where you tried really hard to make things better but only made them worse? I think God gives us those moments to remind us that we are not the best people to be in control of ourselves. Think about it for a moment. An all knowing, all powerful God who is the very embodiment of what we call good, not only has complete control over our lives, but will also channel them in the very best direction possible. That's not something to get upset about. Also, remember if God made us, isn't He going to be the one who best knows how our lives should be lived? After all, if there's one person I'd trust more completely to mess around with my violin, it would be a Luthier. If there was one person I'd trust completely to fiddle about with a piece I was going to perform before hundreds of people, it would be the composer. And usually the movie adaption of a book is best when the author is the one writing the screenplay. I've been trying to keep that in mind whenever I start to complain about the way my life is going.

        3. Talk to God.


If you were working in woodcarver's shop as an apprentice and the woodcarver one day picked up a piece of wood which you thought he had began carving into a horse and turned it into a rabbit, would you start muttering under your breath, quietly of course so he didn't hear, "why is he doing that? What a stupid thing to do, the woodcarver is so unkind to that poor horse, look what he's doing, he's turning it into a rabbit, do you really think that horse wants to be a rabbit?" I don't think you would do that at all. You might watch the woodcarver in awe for a few minutes, amazed at how he could take something that seemed like a horse and have it become a rabbit, you might respectfully ask him why he had decided to make it a rabbit, or what was his reasoning behind it looking like a horse at the beginning. You might express your excitement over his creation and ask him to show you how he did it. If perhaps you had a problem with him making it into a rabbit, perhaps you really wanted it to be a horse, it would be quite absurd of you to give him the silent treatment over it. You would instead talk to him, perhaps express your disappointment, and he would explain. I wonder why we can't do that with God? Why can't we talk to him face to face instead of grumbling around corners and complaining behind closed doors? Why don't we just out with it and tell Him directly that we have a problem with what He's doing in our lives and I guarantee He will answer. I know every time I talked to God about a problem He helped me understand that He had it all under control and I could stop worrying. I think we could all stand to talk to God about our problems a little more often!

       Alright, and that's the end of my lecture today. I want to close with a selection from Handel's great oratorio Messiah. You know, this is one of the greatest works in all of music history and people over play it at Christmas time and never perform it on any other occasion...rather sad, really, when this is a work for all seasons. Anyhow, I've been thoroughly enjoying it recently. I think this is the only complete work of music which I can completely mouth the words and get the timing right to...it's kind of funny actually! Most people are bouncing along in their cars mouthing the words to Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran's songs, while I'm mouthing the words to Handel's Messiah. It's way more fun since it's far more complicated, it keeps me working...I never get bored with Messiah. ;)
     Okay, all that aside, the Messiah selection I want to share with you is the very first aria in the oratorio, Comfort Ye and Every Valley. The words come directly from Scripture and are God's own assurance to us that no matter how unusual and turbulent our lives seem, He is working it out for great good.


      This aria just makes my heart melt...I love this part and what a great opening. Because I have this memorized word for word and note for note, and everyone performs it a little differently it took me a while to find a version I liked, even this one isn't perfect, too much deviation from the actual notes in my opinion, too many soloists endeavor to show off at every opportunity, however, I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

      Comfort Ye, My people. Saith your God. Speak Ye Comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned. The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God... Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill made low; the crooked straight, and the rough places plain.

       Let us all take comfort in this promise, when life isn't the way we want it to be and, as always, let us give thanks!

      ~ Christianna